I flick through the magazine and realise how much I have missed these moments. I get so excited I actually play a video that pops up on my I-Pad. The Princess raises an eyebrow, as this is interrupting Coronation Street and I do have it rather loud.
Sadly they are only explaining the said ‘Toy’ and not actually demonstrating it. But OMG it’s a monster with attachments, I can almost feel the vibration in my fingers and for £59.99 from Screwfix I buy one.
Yes my friends I have been hard at it for nearly 6 weeks now. I discover the old urges of searching for ‘toys’ to enhance my performance have returned. It started with the floors, as you know from last weeks post. My running partner is such a lovely person I felt compelled to carry on. I’ve swung new doors (I guess that kinda makes me a ‘swinger’) painted walls and with help from my running buddy we’ve laid a path (yeah you picked up on the word laid! Really!!) we’ve laid (give up now!) a patio, dug some deep holes for fence posts and erected a fence. I guess it could be a Carry On film.
So now I am indulging myself in what the Princess calls ‘Man Porn’ actually it’s far better than the other kind. Ever tried hammering your way through 400mm of concrete with a Greedy Girl Rabbit?
Keeping you busy and out of mischief
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To a degree, Lisa but there is a certain Brer Rabbit about me lol.
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hahahaha
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🤣
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I really like it when your posts bring a smile to my face… this was so “well-witty”, it gave me cheek dimples. Nice one, Charlie.
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Always happy if I’ve made a few dimples, Pete, thanks 😀
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Very interesting…I will admit when I saw the title that I had to look further….I guess there’s a little porn star in all of us.
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Haha, yeah the little extrovert on your shoulder 😉
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Oh yes, very witty, with me on the edge of my seat waiting for the final inappropriate comment. 🙂 You are a master of suspense.
( I had to look it up, and confessed I was shocked. The price of the things! You can get a 1500 watt Bosch with two batteries for that money, though I do admit you could probably bang your way through 400 mm of concrete with one.) Now I’m going to have to delete my browser history.
Finally, a note on measurement. I appreciate you are a sensitive and forward looking man, and therefore have espoused the metric system, but I think you will find that the porn industry has not.
The industry standard is still the inch and 400mm is therefore more generally known as 16″.
At this point it is probably best if |I stop writing. 🙂
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Haha, thank you Quercus, I’d love to know where you saw the Bosch, Screwfix had the battery one @£220 lol. You’re very observant but 16” does sound rather large😉 Probably a good idea to delete browser history and thanks I just realised mine now has best vibratos and links to the Rabbit (curious name when you consider my drill is called Titan) this would explain a full Spam box offering me exotic resources and services 😂
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https://tinyurl.com/yyc5gxmo
It may not be such an impressive drill as yours, but that’s the story of my life.
If you recall the old saying about no man is a hero to his valet, you could probably say the same about browser histories…
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Ahh yes it’s a cordless, makes sense now 😀
Haha, I do often think my laptop gives me the Jeeves look 😉
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🙂 Laptop – fnaar, fnaar…
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If you’re going to catch your man salivating at the goods on offer then I’d agree that DIY porn is the preferred option. Sounds like plenty of swinging, laying & erecting going on there, and it’s just as well your talents are outdoors because porn industry is on hold given the pandemic. I can’t imagine two people going at it from 6 foot apart.
You really are quite the dab hand at all this stuff because it’s looking great!
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Haha. Thanks, Caz, of course I totally forgot how we had to straddle to drop the slabs in place 😂😂
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I got the power saw out today. Filthy 😉
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Especially the Reciprocating one 😂😂 I was wondering only this morning how your move had gone? Think we’re owed a post 😉
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Move has been good. Just spending loads of time in DIY and throwing things out mode. I posted this morning. 👍
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That’s good, yes I saw the post 2 mins after my request 😂
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Haha, and there it is!
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Oh my Lord, you are giving me flashbacks to my days with the Marine. The tools HE had. LOL! He built furniture, laid floors, changed a roof from trusses to rafters, replaced shingles, reconfigured the entire floor plan of our Texas house, did brick work, poured concrete (and hid an old door in it), built a gazebo, built a porch, he had a molding machine, a router table and a lathe. He did wiring, replace toilets, moved windows, install windows, laid tile and created a second floor in house that never had one, without changing the roof line. He was very handy. The only thing he wasn’t that good at was the lathe. He was a remodeling fool. He also built computers and did systems administration and, maintenance on vehicles. It’s a shame he turned into a drunken asshole…
Love your pix.
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Oh my what a waste!! I was thinking what a great mate he would be until you reached the end (mate as in buddy not reproductive companion😂) I have the edge though as I trained as an engineer when I was a kid straight from school and excelled on the lathe 😂
So sorry about the ending. But your good? 😀
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He had *issues* due to *family* and the end of his Marine Corps career put him in a tailspin. He did 30+ years and that is hard to walk away from. Another problem he had was a champagne taste on a beer pocketbook. He took out a second mortgage on the house (the house was solely in his name but, my name was on the second mortgage), labeled as “home improvement”, to the tune of $30,000, then proceeded to gamble away $20,000 of that in the stock market. He sucked as a day trader but, I watched him run circles around an IRS agent when we were audited. He was a master forger and could create any document to back up whatever he was doing.
He also had a lot of trouble with taking orders after achieving the rank of Master Sergeant. He didn’t do well in the civilian market. At one time, he was working on computers for the Texas Rangers…and managed to get himself fired from that job. He didn’t like answering to a younger woman (remember the family issues). He tried starting businesses on his own…handyman, computer technician, selling molding to larger companies… We ran into the 2008-2009 economy crash and things got bad. My Texas state job kept us just above water but, I got sick (long story). We went thru the IRS audit in June 2010, we separated in July 2010 and he disappeared on me. I was left with the house payment, the second-second mortgage (we managed to pay off the first-second mortgage and he turned around to apply for another one) and three maxed out credit cards to the tune of $10,000 (his debt but in my name). He had two maxed out credit cards in his name at $25,000. I moved back to NC and applied for Texas unemployment. I got it for six months, then the state decided that I shouldn’t have gotten it and wanted it all back. I destroyed my Texas state retirement trying to cover all of the above (minus his two cards) and failed. My credit rating has been in the toilet for nearly a decade. I am just now coming out of that. I was up to my ass in alligators for quite a while.
As an addendum, after his 30+ year career, when he retired, he retired out of the reserves, not active duty, though he was activated for the Iraq War. That meant he had to wait until he turned 60 to get his military pension. That was 2016 so, that was a contributing factor to all the debt.
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Wow, tough time (for both of you!) It’s quite criminal the way governments don’t support long serving ex-military. They’re quite happy with 30years service though 🥴
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Sorry for writing a book. I type in the wee hours of the morning. 😖😵😴
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Rule 1 Never apologise
Rule 2 Never apologise to me 😂
Hey it’s great to share, so they tell me. Good to be a sounding board 😉
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*sigh* Thanks for reading. ☺ Maybe you should moonlight as a counselor.
“Never apologize. It’s a sign of weakness.” ~Leroy Jethro Gibbs
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Welcome 😉
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I’ll leave the counselling to the better half lol. But thank you for the thought 😀
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😊😁
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Great job Charlie.
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Thank you Laleh 😘
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My pleasure.
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Whatever rocks your boat, Charlie, I say – go for it…
(I’m definitely wishing you were my next door neighbour, or running mate – but without the actual running…) I do still have running shoes, if that counts for anything!
Hahah.. I love your style of porn, Charlie; those metal toys do look rather fetching… 🙂
xoxoxo
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I think a running mate without the running is called a mistress 😂😂 I’ll have to investigate maybe running shoes in the cupboard count. See what happens when you are raised on Carry On films. Xx
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Those films have a lot to answer for!!! 😂😂
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👍😂
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Your dirty talk is hilarious Charlie!
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Thank you Anne, although when I was 17 and a G/F said that I was quite hurt 😂😂😆x
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Interesting read here. Full of wit too. Nice day Charlie!
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Thank you very much, you too 😉
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