Five am, the sun rises over the cornfield and the last thing you need to see is a drowned rat in a cattle trough. But hey ho, it happens.


As I fished the rat corpse out of the trough I heard a lorry coming down the lane. Through the mist of the recently woken, I remembered, the Pea Man.
Helping my nephew on the farm, many years ago could be surprising, today it was peas. Yup, he’d decided peas were good for buttermilk and they were cheap. I showed the Pea Man where he needed to tip them and as his trailer raised into the air the smell assaulted my nostrils. If I had thought the rat was bad… Anyway, they seemed less messy than the two-ton of beetroot he had ordered last month.
We arose at 5 am most mornings but this was a special day because it was Driffield Show dayย and we had seven bullocks and one heifer to wash and load. Of course, this was after we hadย ‘fed up’ (feeding animals) and ‘teemed’ (unloaded) a trailer of straw.


We were parading these beasts at the show. They weighed nearly half a ton and we had spent a lot of time with them. We had wrestled them, haltered them, walked them (oh yes every night for about 3 miles)ย and now we washed them, blowed dried them and brushed them.
There was an issue though. The man from the Artificial Insemination unit or the ‘A.I. Man, as we called him was calling around to impregnate one of the cows. But help was at hand, my brother-in-law, a city dweller on a day visit, had offered to ‘see to him’.
We packed our trunk, white coats, white halters, numbers and of course sandwiches and we were ready.
As we were about to leave the A.I. man trundled down the lane. I explained we had to go and introduced him to the aforementioned city dweller/brother-in-law and escorted them to the cowshed. Leaving them to it I began to close the door.
I overheard my brother-in-law say to the A.I. man. “Would you like me to hold your trousers?”
Oh! I bet that’s a story he’s told a few times.
Vaya con dios, amigos xx
Memory inspired from a conversation with my dear fellow blogger https://quercuscommunity.com/
All photos from Pexels today I’m afraid
The punch line is worth waiting for! Made I laugh…
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Oh! Good, I was kinda aiming for that haha
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hahahaha or leave your trousers right there.. ๐
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Haha still not sure if he was serious or not ๐
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Great story. As a very young boy I watched the A.I. man do his job in Grandpa’s barn. It was probably then that I decided to be something other than a farmer..๐
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Thank you, Larry. I guess it was quite an experience for a young boy ๐
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A lovely story. Enjoyed reading it
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Thank you Iโm so happy you enjoyed it. ๐
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๐ธ๐
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Great story, well told. ๐
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Thank you ๐
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What a varied life you’ve led, Charlie; you keep coming out with surprise after surprise!
Your nephew sounds like a ‘thinker’. Did you ever find out if the peas/beets were good for buttermilk?
Huh… That brother-in-law either had a great sense of humour, or was the biggest dope ever. I barrack for a great sense of humour.
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Haha, thank you Carolyn, yeah, the peas were better than the beetroot as I recall but buttermilk can only be so high according to the Mil Marketing Board and heโs always coming up with some idea or other lol. Eric, my brother-in-law? Never quite sure as he has a very dry sense of humour haha
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OMG – I needed to laugh! Thank YOU!
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Oh my goodness, great story!!
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Thanks, Anne, much appreciated ๐
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That was very imaginative; though true. I love the phrase “assaulted my nostrils”. I realized then that stinky smells are an assault of sorts.
In Denver, Colorado stock shows are a big deal! Your post makes me wanna go to one, but the convention center where it’s held has been converted to a make shift coronavirus shelter, for the homeless.
I must read more of your posts. Especially because of your impressive writing talent, I deeply appreciate your support.
Regards
Kevy
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Thank you so much, itโs such a shame they are closed at present. They can be so much fun on lovely summers day ๐
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LOL, good one.
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Thank you, Laleh, hope you are well ๐
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Thanks Charlie, just hanging strongly.๐๐๐
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