Sexual Awakening

If you have a disinclination towards sex, then it may be prudent of you to ‘click’ close now. One dark cold night last week I was reminiscing to an age gone by and ‘the sexual awakening.’ I was eleven or twelve (I know possibly a bit young and this could explain a lot) I was watching Star Trek, in particular Lieutenantย Uhura, when something happened. I’ll spare you the detail but two things came into my mind. One – I’d done something really bad and was now Hell-bound for eternity. Two – I needed to do some research.

Kevin, our school expert, said he had stuck a pin in his testicles and a milky liquid had come out and he had also got his penis stuck in a milk bottle. He also had a habit of picking his nose and eating it. Having had a vasectomy some years ago I know the pin thing was a lie, I never tried the milk bottle experiment.

My research led me to a book called ‘Hells Angels.’ Not recommended as reading material for your 11-12 year old. There was something that puzzled me. Apparently, to get his Red Wings, these are similar to Scout Badges, an Angel had to commit cunnilingus on a menstruating woman? These words were definitely not on our school spelling list. Humph! More research. I checked the various meanings and and then drew my conclusions. It was all about monthly cycles, why some women could only go for a bike ride once a month was beyond me, and kissing a ladies ‘thing’. Obviously a competition where a lady sat on a playground roundabout, I was clever enough to know that a bicycle wouldn’t work. As she spun round, that was the cycle bit, the Hells Angels tried to kiss her ‘thing,’ haha sorted!

I couldn’t wait to tell Kevin, he laughed and enlightened me. Really, I mean really! He then told me that girls let you put your willy in their mouth. So, I asked my good friend Rosalie if she would like me to put my willy in her mouth? She declined, stating she would rather have a lollipop. Reporting back to Kevin, he said he did it himself. Don’t try this at home! The problem was that when you lean so far forward you ‘tipple tail.’ After ‘tipple tailing’ around the lounge, naked, for twenty minutes I noticed our Corgi dog staring at me. Head cocked on one side with a ‘What the F’ look on it’s face, I gave up! My research had been disappointing and I went back to playing football, grass fights and the occasional kiss with Rosalie for few years ๐Ÿ˜‰

About charliecountryboy

Carpenter and Carpentry Lecturer. Writer, 5k and 10k runner, musician. Curious about life and all those wonderful people in it.
This entry was posted in 1970'S, Blogging, History, Humour, Life, Opinion, people and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

33 Responses to Sexual Awakening

  1. You grew up so fast, Charlie! My GOODNESS! SHEESH! ๐Ÿ˜‚

    Liked by 3 people

  2. hahahaha thank goodness you are only young once.. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Carolyn Page says:

    Kevin sure told a lot of porky pies! Hahahahaha…
    ‘Tipple Tailing’ still has me laughing out loud whilst I type!
    I’ll never lose the visual…. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Invisibly Me says:

    Rumour has it Marilyn Manson had some ribs removed so he could โ€˜tipple tailโ€™ more fully than just a tipple. Itโ€™s good Rosalie didnโ€™t tell her parents what youโ€™d asked, Iโ€™m pretty sure there would have been no kissing after that ๐Ÿ˜‚At least the period of sexual awakening seems less dangerous than the stuff here, especially with pins and milk bottles. Then again, I suppose some girls attempting to see whether bananas, cucumbers or hairbrushes would go in places they should never go could also be pretty dangerous.
    Well, this post certainly woke me up this dreary afternoon!x

    Liked by 3 people

    • OMG do I now identify with Marilyn Manson ๐Ÿ˜‚ You know Iโ€™m not quite sure what her Mum would have said, thinking about it. Her Dad wasnโ€™t around and her mum was… shall we say โ€˜flightyโ€™ ๐Ÿ˜‚ As for the fruit and hair accessories… well I think in order to protect the โ€˜livingโ€™ and some who may read this Iโ€™ll take the Fifth Amendment in this case ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜˜. Glad to have been of assistance on this dreary afternoon, mโ€™aam x

      Liked by 1 person

  5. kphoenix1 says:

    Um. Yeah, you were definitely doing your research. Lol.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. ChecheWinnie says:

    ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ‘ผ Wooo!!

    Liked by 3 people

  7. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Oh Charlie, after that picture of Lt. Uhuru at the top I was hooked. And we have all been teenage boys, if we are boys, innit? Great honesty and the usual laugh-out-loud moments from this fabulous post. You touch on life’s moments with a poignancy that I admire. Thank you, once again, for a great and thought-provoking read.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Oh! Thanks, Pete I did wonder if there was a bit too much honesty but then I missed a lot out lol. Looks like youโ€™re going to get an extended holiday after todayโ€™s announcement lol

      Like

      • No extended holiday for me Charlie. Key-workers’ children still need minding (we count as key workers), None of us could have gone into this for the money, that’s for sure. I guess we all went into this job to make a positive contribution to our world. So now that is being tested when it is really needed. No change here.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Alex says:

    Cool story man! Hahah

    Liked by 3 people

  10. I’ve just been re-reading Frank Skinner’s autobiography, in which he covers similar subjects. You are funnier and, let’s be honest about as tasteful. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I can honestly say that the subject matter rings some bells, that I would never be brave enough to admit to it, and that I have never, ever, even in passing, or whilst drunk, thought about sticking a pin in my testicles.

    Liked by 3 people

  11. jonicaggiano says:

    So funny truly hilarious. What a great little researcher you were too. This really made me laugh because two years ago I did makeup on a Star Trek set where my daughter played this character. The set looked identical as did the short uniforms. The film was done for a special event and was a lot of fun but long days. It was shown at the Seattle Art Museumโ€™s movie theater during this event. All the ladies were gorgeous. Great story. Love and blessings to you. Joni

    Liked by 3 people

  12. I love this. Youโ€™ve got a nice blog.

    Itโ€™s an honor to be here ๐Ÿ™‡ . I hope I can make good friends with you๐Ÿ’

    Liked by 1 person

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