Becoming Fifty

The moon has a strange way of placing me in a reflective mood. Apart from the itchy teeth and nails and of course that kooky feeling of hair growing down my spine, the past frequently haunts my thoughts.

The moon_Moment

So there I was the other night, gazing up at the clouds as they flew past our aforementioned sphere when my 50th year entered my head. When you turn 50 things change (apparently). People and companies you have never heard of materialize. The first was a company called the Canadian Pharmacy who offered me half price Viagra. I block these emails on a weekly basis and have done for 12 years now. I’m not promoting my virility here, I just think Viagra would probably give me indigestion.  The second materialization was a plethora of young ladies who, via email, want to have sex with me. I don’t mean over email, they actually want to meet me and have sex. Some of them live close by (apparently) I’ve never spotted any but I guess they are busy entertaining all the other 50+ year-old men in my neighborhood.

As well as this I get bombarded with life insurance offers but to be fair if I’m swallowing Viagra at an alarming rate and bonking a superabundance of voluptuous young damsels? I would probably need it. Finally there are the offers for online Bingo, to be honest that is probably the most attractive offer except I’m skint most of the time. So if you’re under 50 there’s a few things to look forward to. Have a lovely week my fellow bloggers X.

About charliecountryboy

Part-time Carpentry Assessor. writer, runner, guitarist. Curious about life and all those wonderful people in it.
This entry was posted in Blogging, Humour, Life, Opinion, Over 50's and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

41 Responses to Becoming Fifty

  1. I get offered loads of life insuranceβ˜ΊοΈπŸ˜‰

    Liked by 3 people

  2. It was me Charlie. I am all of those young fillies and I offer you Viagra (and bitcoins) daily. Sorry, I was just trying to cheer you up. I wouldn’t ever really follow through if and when you reply – that would chaffe. Sorry…

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Invisibly Me says:

    When’s the big day?
    Another 10 years and you’ll get a free bus pass, so you have plenty more to look forward to after you’re all bonked out from the viagra and hookers.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Oh, yes… Turning 50 is just oodles of fun!!! Let the mail, e-mails, annoying commercials of Medicad-Medicare, Life Insurance, and “Help Me I’ve Fallen And Can’t Get Up” seem to chime even more so.
    In yesterday’s mail, I received at least 5-7 Medicare notices/Life Insurance offers.
    The madness never ends after hitting 50. LOL! πŸ‘΅πŸ˜œπŸ§“

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Rose says:

    Hahaha… Cheers!πŸ₯‚

    Liked by 3 people

  6. This put a big smile on my face. I even get viagra ones, some from men, and I am married. 🀣🀣

    Liked by 2 people

  7. They don’t call you Charming Charlie for nothing!

    Liked by 4 people

  8. erotismoenguardia says:

    ❀️

    Liked by 2 people

  9. theburningheart says:

    50 its nor so bad Charlie, wait until you start getting adds for funeral insurance! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  10. At least you didn’t mention getting ads from Funeral Homes Charlie. I get those on a routine basis….πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 2 people

  11. So funny!
    Have a nice and adventurous week πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Hahaha, Charlie, this gave me a good belly giggle! β™₯︎

    Liked by 1 person

  13. 62? So you’ve had the packet of sticks and the instructions on where to shove them? I’m told that when we reach 67 we get invited for an abdominal aorta aneurism test – yet another couple of hours waiting round in hospital, but with the added bonus that they might decide to operate.

    I quite like old age when I compare it to the alternative, though, of course, at 61 I’m a mere youth.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Jenny says:

    I started paying off my insurance since 22 haha. Probably won’t get another one once I turned 50

    Liked by 1 person

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