Becoming Fifty

The moon has a strange way of placing me in a reflective mood. Apart from the itchy teeth and nails and of course that kooky feeling of hair growing down my spine, the past frequently haunts my thoughts.

So there I was the other night, gazing up at the clouds as they flew past our aforementioned sphere when my 50th year entered my head. When you turn 50 things change (apparently). People and companies you have never heard of materialize. The first was a company called the Canadian Pharmacy who offered me half price Viagra. I block these emails on a weekly basis and have done for 12 years now. I’m not promoting my virility here, I just think Viagra would probably give me indigestion.  The second materialization was a plethora of young ladies who, via email, want to have sex with me. I don’t mean over email, they actually want to meet me and have sex. Some of them live close by (apparently) I’ve never spotted any but I guess they are busy entertaining all the other 50+ year-old men in my neighborhood.

As well as this I get bombarded with life insurance offers but to be fair if I’m swallowing Viagra at an alarming rate and bonking a superabundance of voluptuous young damsels? I would probably need it. Finally there are the offers for online Bingo, to be honest that is probably the most attractive offer except I’m skint most of the time. So if you’re under 50 there’s a few things to look forward to. Have a lovely week my fellow bloggers X.