Holiday Stress, Men, Death and Menstruation

Metal smashed against air and the air was forced beneath and so the metal lifted. There was a shudder in the plane, someone gasped, a baby cried and I watched the ground disappear. The flying tin reached 10,000ft and as they all sucked frantically on boiled sweets I cracked my jaw and released the pressure in the Eustachian tube. They believe if they can’t hear then no one else can. A woman in front stressed to her husband (and I got the idea that it wasn’t the first time) that she wasn’t happy about leaving her seriously ill Mum. He on the other hand was insistent that everyone needed a holiday. At 35,000ft the young girl opposite me and her boyfriend looked like they were worth tuning into. She required the toilet, he was appalled that he had to move, ‘why couldn’t she wait?’ She explained that her period had started, he turned away and I saw the expression on his face. If I hadn’t heard the conversation then I would have presumed she had just told him that she intended to remove his testicles with a pair of nail clippers while he slept. He stood up. ‘Go on then!’

She looked smaller now, and most apologetic. It flashed through my mind to explain that his girlfriend was a human and not a shagging machine to be abused when it’s out of order, but realised he had that, ‘head on’ and I would be wasting my time.

‘What happens if she takes a turn for the worse? Or dies?!’ Asked the woman in front. To which her husband explained he was neither a Dr, Paramedic or an undertaker, so her mom was in safe hands. Oh dear, I thought probably not the best reply. When we landed there was a certain amount of frostiness in the air. Mr Boyfriend was very unhappy that the first four days or so of his holiday was going to be sexless and poorly mother-in-law man realised he wasn’t going to get any peace for two weeks.

It was a week later when, laid by the pool, Mr Boyfriend returned from the bar, gave his girlfriend a Pina Colada, stroked her hair and kissed her shoulder. “Aww look at that,” said my partner, “So sweet.”

“She’s probably just finished her period,” I said.

“God, you’re so cynical.”

I smiled. Later when we came down for dinner the lady with the sick mom and her husband were at reception, she was in tears and he looked quite guilty.

“I wonder what’s going on there?” Asked my partner.

“Her mom’s probably died,” I said.

“God you’re so horrible,”she said.

“I know,” but smiled to myself.

Feeling a little melancholy and disappointed with certain members of the human race (you guessed 😉) But anyway I had a great holiday in Greece, and some lovely early morning runs 😀