Five hundred feet below me the rocks of the Sierra Madre mountains appeared unforgiving, the guide called out, ‘It’s okay the horse knows where it’s going.’ I decided to leave my fate in the hands of a Mexican pony and sat back in the saddle. Eventually we came to a clearing by a stream and there was a picnic. Many hours later, with buttocks safely back in the bar, I finally realised why cowboys walk the way they do .
Later that evening we found a seat in the bar and I made yet another discovery; cowboys stand at the bar in saloons. This bar had a TV I’m not a fan of TV’s in bars, it was stage right so we sat stage left. I say sat; I tried perching on my hip, but this made me look like male model with hemorrhoids; at least here I could see the band and the TV was obscured. These guys were not the best band in the world but they were better than me, in fact just about anyone is better than me 😉 My girlfriend and I were chatting away while the band murdered ‘Lyin Eyes’ and I realised the tempo was slowing, it was as if their batteries were running down. Simultaneously the entire band were leaning forward and right, staring at the TV. Mothers were covering their children’s eyes, angry fathers were gesticulating at the bar whilst the staff searched frantically for the remote. Eventually my curiosity got the better of me and craning my neck to get a glimpse I saw the cause of all the commotion. Someone had switched the channel to a Porn site. 😉