It Weren’t Half Hot, Mum

A breeze soothes my face as I drift into another sun drenched dream, I can hear the chatter, chatter of some locals above the waves that caress the shore and then she prods me in the rib. ‘Let’s go out tomorrow.’ This is Sri Lanka, there are no island tours where you all sing Gin Gan Goolie and drink copious amounts of alcohol whilst a hairstylist from Scunthorpe tells you how she once saved three wild cats from a dustbin and then nearly miscarried because she caught Toxoplasmosis from their faeces.


In Sri Lanka you book a taxi. That evening we invited ‘Elvis’ the taxi driver into the hotel (and you thought he worked in the chip shop) to discuss our trip the next day. Elvis informed me that we would need to depart the hotel at 05:00 in order to see the baby elephants being fed. Now no one would call me an animal lover, nor indeed and animal hater. I guess I’m an abstainer, I’m like that with a lot of things. Take Homosexuality for instance, I don’t have a problem with it, if that’s who you are, fine, best of luck to you. I just don’t need to participate. So I explain to Elvis that we are on holiday and 4:30 only exists once a day. He tells me what a beautiful sight it is and I tell him that I’m sure David Attenborough  has it covered, we agree on 06:00, reluctantly. The morning doesn’t start well when believing I need to pass a little wind and pooh my pants. Fifteen minutes later we are in Elvis’s taxi and heading out to the Elephant orphanage. If you’ve never ridden an Elephant its fairly easy once you get on it and surprisingly they purr? I managed not to pooh on the elephant, but I did get mugged by the children, but that’s another story πŸ™‚


About charliecountryboy

Part-time Carpentry Assessor. writer, runner, guitarist. Curious about life and all those wonderful people in it.
This entry was posted in Blogging, Cat, Humour, Life, Opinion, Travel and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

45 Responses to It Weren’t Half Hot, Mum

  1. Love the honest retelling here. I loved Sri Lanka and the Elephant orphanage. Did you get to Kandy? That’s lovely too.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. dray0308 says:

    Reblogged this on Dream Big, Dream Often.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Just Jane says:

    I got hooked to your writing after I read ” First love, first fall”..I still go back and Re read it. You are amazing

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Ana Daksina says:

    So, guessing your feelings regarding homosexual animals would be doubly ambiguous, then…?

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Invisibly Me says:

    Hahahah, you know some weird hairstylists! For the elephant’s sake, I’m glad you didn’t poop. But I’m surprised they purr. Really? Am I going to have to Google that for verification? And you do have to tell us now about the mugging-by-child incident. I hope you didn’t poop on them either, though perhaps you should have.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. The Hinoeuma says:

    Always good not to poo on an elephant. David Attenborough probably covered that, too.

    Liked by 4 people

  7. Carolyn Page says:

    Rode an elephant at the zoo in Sydney many years past… I think they were probably African elephants; they were huge! But then, I was small.. !! And, I don’t think it purred. David Attenborough would know, for sure! Maybe only Asian elephants purr.. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    Did he sing? Elvis? Or was he just a morning killjoy?

    Liked by 2 people

  8. neelstoria says:

    I took an elephant ride in Kerala and had fun while trying not to fall off with all the swaying! And I thought their hair was as soft but they weren’t. Enjoyed the ride anyway 😊

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Thanks charlie! Reblogging this on SIWO International.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. SovernessOverSeas says:

    Hey! I nominated you for the sunshine blogger award!! A thank you to your awesome posts.
    Go check it out

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Such a fun story. πŸ™‚ Your words create strong images and the honesty is wonderfully refreshing!

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Pingback: It Weren’t Half Hot Mum (2) | Charliecountryboy's Blog

  13. Pingback: It Weren’t Half Hot Mum (2) | Charliecountryboy's Blog

  14. Great memories:) been there too in 2014! Love the tea – best!

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Very nice share. Lucky you didn’t have to take a rickshaw.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. K E Garland says:

    LOL I love the homsexuality analogy.

    Liked by 2 people

  17. Cherryl says:

    Elephants purr!!!! I’d never have thought that – they seem like such gentle giants in a lot of ways 😊🐘

    Liked by 2 people

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