More of a ‘Hate Ivy’ Post Than a Love Gardening Post :-)

I’ve never like Ivy. when I was a kid it was always covering a city that Tarzan found. It reeked of loneliness, desecration and disappointment.

It wasn’t just Tarzan; as the excitement built and all those adventurers set out for the City of Gold you just knew that when the bearers ran off into the jungle there was going to be Ivy somewhere. From Clint Walker, to Rambo and the Rock none of them ever had a good time in a jungle.

But then of course as a teenager my Death Star of an Ivy arrived in Coronation Street. Ivy Tilsley, played by Lynne Perrie. She must have been a terrific actress because I detested her.

Can you imagine my horror when we moved here eighteen months ago to be surrounded by Ivy. OMG (yes I caught a snippet of Love Island). The worst of it was on the garage wall. Luckily for me I married, as you know a princess, but also a machete wielding Amazon. No I didn’t buy her on Amazon! Oh, follow the link if you don’t know what an Amazon is 🙂

 

Can you see it all? I used wake up with nightmares. Imagine what could be hiding in there. You see when I was a kid they left my bedroom door open and from my bed I could see the airing cupboard and I swear there was a Sioux Indian with a tomahawk, waiting to jump out as soon as I went to sleep. Anyways back to the plot. The Amazon took her machete and cut it all back for me. She bought some bird boxes and made some hanging baskets, then ‘man take over.’ I was becoming concerned that she had forgotten which one of us is Tarzan and not being very good at ‘making fire,’ I swung down complete with the hammer drill, tape measure and loin cloth, so now we have this, everyone say awww 🙂