Grabbin Some Grammar, Innit 🤟

Sometimes I am inundated with advertising which states I need Grammarly. So, I tested it with a few paragraphs from the Masters 😉

The first paragraph from The Old Man and the Sea, Hemingway’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel came up with a score of 86/100 with two commas missing and if I go Premium there are a further 3 alerts, including 2 Potentially Sensitive Language issues and another punctuation error.

The first few lines of Atonement, Ian McEwan, the Observer cites it as one of the greatest 100 novels ever written. It gained a score of 96/100. I was asked to remove the ‘a’ before ‘lunch’ and if I pay for Premium they will tell me why it has ‘hard – to – read – text’ lol.

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Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen, still used in UK schools as part of the GCSE curriculum. The first paragraph gained a miserly score of 87/100 with 5 alerts of misspellings, although to be fair 4 were full stops after Mr or Mrs which we don’t do anymore. But if I pay for Premium they will explain the problems with passive voice misuse and intricate text.

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Finally The Overstory, Richard Powers’ Pulitzer Prize-winning novel 2019. A score of 90/100, 4 alerts ascertaining to, missing comma, incorrect noun use and 2 spelling mistakes. If you pay for Premium there are a further 6 alerts – Word choice, passive voice misuse, punctuation and 2 monotonous sentences.

Monotonous?? It’s a Pulitzer for gawd’s sake 😂😂

I put this post into Grammarly and my score is the same as Hemingway’s, so Pulitzer here I come 😘😘

Now I wonder if the young lady on the telly who tells us we need Grammarly to write a really good novel is… possibly wrong. 🙂

Posted in Blogging, Books, Fiction, Life, Opinion | Tagged , , , , , , , | 59 Comments

Wind, Rain, Cold and Writing

I could begin with – “It’s been a while since I posted,” but I’m worried the response would be, “Really?” 😂 So, I agreed to more hours at work, because they’re in the pooh, thought about ‘shit’ but I didn’t want to offend anyone. I received the final edit of ‘The Siege of Mr Khan’s Curry Shop’ and so now I’ve got to select 12 agents and write a synopsis. I’ve tried writing a synopsis and I’m beginning to wonder if it would be better to scrap the novel 😂

I started the second book and then I started a third. The third is completely different to anything I’ve done and so I’ve fallen in love. Anyway these are the reasons I’ve been quiet. Apart from the fact that I’ve not been anywhere, done anything or discovered anything.

Back to the title… I managed my third run this week, today. No – ankle isn’t better I just ignore it. But the yoga helps. 😁 It was two degrees, it poured down with rain, the wind nearly blew my pants off!

See – I said I had nothing to say 😂

Posted in Blogging, Humour, Life, Running, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

Sooty’s Finale

So here we are. Sooty has kept us laughing (albeit unknowingly) for a while. I managed to persuade him to do one final video before things (hopefully) return to normal.

Bless him if only he knew what he was saying. Once again my friends, probably not one for the kids. And if you’re a sensitive soul, probably not for you 😝

Keep safe, we’re nearly out the other side and June 21st is a good time to fire up the Bar-B-Que 😘

Posted in Blogging, Gardening, Humour, Life | Tagged , , , , , , | 28 Comments

Good News

Naw, only joking. Unless of course we believe all this will be over by June 21st. But, as everyone has been wrong, about everything, since last March, I don’t think I will hold my breath 😂 Apparently I no longer have Achilles Tendonitis, good news. I have Haglund’s Syndrome, bad news, they like to call it Haglunds Deformity. I prefer Syndrome. 😉 It’s a bone growth thing, on the heel. So I’m having physiotherapy.

Initially he puts little pads on the heel and then electrocutes me. It’s kinda fun watching my big toe dance, but I can’t recommend the rest of it. Then comes the massage, this is no fun at all, but in a good cause.

So, no running, no walking but cycling is good. Although I’m not a cycling fan I have set a target of 600 kilometres a month. I’ve also done a home, strength training plan and stopped drinking (since Jan 31st) I did say I was joking about the good news, but I’ve lost 10 kilograms, that’s about 1.5 stone. Which means the lockdown shelf has nearly gone 😉 When you think about it there’s always a positive somewhere. Take care, my friends, we’re nearly there x

Posted in Blog, Blogging, Humour, Life, Lifestyle, Opinion | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Dad’s Hands

I had a secret game I played with my sleeping Dad, way back when my parents’ bed was too high to climb onto, but I was old enough to climb out of my …

Dad’s Hands
Posted in Life | 11 Comments

Managing to Stay Positive

Yup a strange title under the present circumstances. And it’s quite hard to do. Especially this last week as the Achilles has gone again. But, I am prepared this time so lots of physio, Yoga and strength exercise.

One thing I have found is that people have become much more important. I’ve discovered a love for them. (Well some of them😂) In the past it was so easy to take people for granted but, as they say, you don’t miss something until it’s been taken away. 😍

Luckily I am generally a happy person but this situation has made me happier. That is probably the rebel in me. If you want me to do something? Tell me I can’t do it lol. Tell me I can’t have something? I will fight tooth and nail to have it. I think that makes the achievement much more precious. So when I’m surrounded by strife I will automatically try and fill the world with joy.

That’s where Sooty came in. He was just so off the wall to everything else that was happening. Apart from that, don’t watch the news, read the newspapers or listen to the bloke at work that says, “It’s all fake, and a world government/oligarch conspiracy.” I connect with people everyday, it may only be online but hey, they are still people. And of course I have you wonderful folks on here. So yeah it’s a crap time but my blood is still warm xxx

Posted in Blogging, Community, Freedom, Life, Lifestyle, Motivation, Opinion | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments

Not For The Faint of Heart

I read a post recently by my WordPress friend Quercushttps://quercuscommunity.com/ He was saying how topics are difficult during this period. Well it is for us writers of life. If you read our posts then you know what I mean. That’s why you’re all suffering (or not) Sooty. I did the first one in the last lockdown simply because there was so much doom, gloom and negativity on FB, yes I dabble there because so many of my friends are there. If you can laugh, even for 2/3 minutes it’s worth my while xx

Posted in Blogging, Community, Facebook, Humour, Life, Opinion | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 33 Comments

Morals, Ethics and Simplicity

A person sees an evil and turns away. Is that a lack of morale backbone or is it self preservation. Were they scared, were they protecting someone or is there no excuse?

Every Sunday I run the England Athletics Weekly30 Challenge. The idea is you run for thirty minutes as fast as you can and you’re scored on the distance you cover. I am generally 2nd in my age group. Last week I stalked the guy who came first; on his Strava account. His entire route is downhill. Is that immoral, I wonder.

Apparently if you have high moral values you are less likely to be funny, laugh at other people’s jokes and come across as standoffish. After last weeks post I may have a problem. In fact looking back upon my life I guess the moral bar has been pretty low. I’m told I’m funny, laugh a lot and more likely to climb on, than to stand off

But they also say high morals make you more trustworthy. But, people with high moral values are miserable SOB’s who don’t get involved, keep themselves to themselves and are prudish? So how do you get close enough to tell them something that you can trust them with?

But, they may have a point. If you Google people with high moral values or ethics. It brings up:

The Buddha. Aristotle, Jesus, Martin Luther, John Calvin and Gandhi. They weren’t exactly famous for their stand-up and I don’t recall seeing any of them with their hand stuck up a yellow bear. It’s much more complicated than my little blog, obviously, but I do rather like to simplify things And I guess there is a difference xx

Posted in Blogging, Humour, Life, Opinion, people | Tagged , , , , | 37 Comments

Is it me, or is it him?

I probably need to apologise for the lack of quality erudite posts that you expect from me 😂😂 But there is nothing (literally) happening over here. Run, work, sleep 😢 So, I’m just hoping to make people laugh. Incidentally this is quite possibly a PG!

Posted in Blogging, Entertainment, Humour, Life, Media | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 41 Comments

Lets Get The Kids Exercising (Oh Dear)

They say laughter is the best medicine. Well, I can certainly subscribe to that. It’s a little harder today. As I sit here, listening to the rain and wind pounding the window. I’ll be running across Beverley Westwood Pastures in less than an hour. But yesterday Sooty tried to cheer us all up! This one is child friendly in case you were worried 😂

Hope you enjoy the fun and remember laughing is better than crying xxx

Posted in Blogging, Humour, Life, Lifestyle, Opinion | Tagged , , , , , , | 22 Comments

My Days of Football

It was a grim winter day, the skies were grey and the birds had even stopped singing. We trudged reluctantly past the black, foreboding gates of the Victorian park. A thin line of frozen schoolboys. Heading out for an afternoon of football.

This was my first experience of school football. I’d seen Leeds United play and so I had a good idea of how the game was played (a la – 1970 Leeds style.)

During that winter my bedroom had ice on the window (on the inside). Linoleum on the floor and duvet was just a French word. So football boots were not an essential item. But there was hope!

Anyaways… back to the plot. Upon arrival at our destination our hardened PE teacher told us to get changed while he checked the boiler room (cigarette break!) As I say, mam and dad couldn’t afford football boots, but my brother-in-law, who was in the army came to the rescue. He gave me some boots. His old rugby boots! Not quite the ones I wanted…

This seemed like a good idea, except they were size 11. There may have been some confusion with my age and boot size. So, out I trumbled looking like Co-Co the clown, with a scrounged, football shirt that was three sizes too big. After the joviality had ceased and I managed to hold back the tears, the game started.

I volunteered for the position of right back which, to the un-initiated is a defender. This was, in part, because my best friend was in goal and I thought we could have a chat. When the first attacker bore down on us I immediately ran out and kicked his legs from underneath him. The whistle blew!

“Who the bloody hell do think you are, lad?” Came the voice of our irate teacher, ” Jack Charlton?”

“No, Sir, Norman Hunter,” I replied innocently.

“Off, off, get off my pitch.”

He appeared visibly distressed. this was one of our first encounters. I have written about our relationship in a previous post, here.

My football days were obviously numbered and to be honest I spent most of them on my own in the shower.

And that my friends is how I became a runner. Have a good week and remember, love the one you are with (at any given time 😂) ❤️

Posted in 1970'S, Athletics, Blog, Blogging, Freedom, Humour, Life, Opinion | Tagged , , , , , , , | 15 Comments