Grabbin Some Grammar, Innit 🤟

Sometimes I am inundated with advertising which states I need Grammarly. So, I tested it with a few paragraphs from the Masters 😉

The first paragraph from The Old Man and the Sea, Hemingway’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel came up with a score of 86/100 with two commas missing and if I go Premium there are a further 3 alerts, including 2 Potentially Sensitive Language issues and another punctuation error.

The first few lines of Atonement, Ian McEwan, the Observer cites it as one of the greatest 100 novels ever written. It gained a score of 96/100. I was asked to remove the ‘a’ before ‘lunch’ and if I pay for Premium they will tell me why it has ‘hard – to – read – text’ lol.

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Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen, still used in UK schools as part of the GCSE curriculum. The first paragraph gained a miserly score of 87/100 with 5 alerts of misspellings, although to be fair 4 were full stops after Mr or Mrs which we don’t do anymore. But if I pay for Premium they will explain the problems with passive voice misuse and intricate text.

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Finally The Overstory, Richard Powers’ Pulitzer Prize-winning novel 2019. A score of 90/100, 4 alerts ascertaining to, missing comma, incorrect noun use and 2 spelling mistakes. If you pay for Premium there are a further 6 alerts – Word choice, passive voice misuse, punctuation and 2 monotonous sentences.

Monotonous?? It’s a Pulitzer for gawd’s sake 😂😂

I put this post into Grammarly and my score is the same as Hemingway’s, so Pulitzer here I come 😘😘

Now I wonder if the young lady on the telly who tells us we need Grammarly to write a really good novel is… possibly wrong. 🙂

Posted in Blogging, Books, Fiction, Life, Opinion | Tagged , , , , , , , | 59 Comments

How To Get Lost On A Triathlon

You wouldn’t think it was possible unless you knew me really well. It was suggested we (my little running group of 5) do a Triathlon some months ago. I thought it was a good idea but then discovered something. It’s much more difficult swimming on top of the water than under it. I have spent many hours in the pool and I am still a rubbish swimmer, but figured I could do them (obviously not in the biblical way) on the bike and run.

I kinda knew things weren’t going well when after leaving the pool the Princess informed me I had two more lengths to do. 😂 Okay… direction and counting are not my strong points. I jumped back into the pool. When I got on my bike I was about ten minutes behind my friends. But hey, I caught one of them at 5k and the other at 10k. So it was looking good. Then I met a marshal (for my American cousins it wasn’t Matt Dillon) She pointed me down a road to a mini roundabout. The first time around was fine, I was a little concerned the second time. I shouted, “Finish?” She nodded and said straight down there. After I reached the necessary kilometres to complete the race I was a little more than concerned. 🤔So I ran back. The aforementioned marshal pointed me in the same direction once more. I explained I’d been down there twice already. She said, “Oh, you need to go that way then.” So I came in with an extra two and a half kilometres than everyone else. Well it was my first Triathlon 😂

Have a fabulous weekend everyone and never enter a Triathlon xx

Posted in Athletics, Blogging, Humour, Life, Opinion, Running | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

It Got Me

Talk about late coming to the party! The C word finally caught me last Friday. I must say it was more impressive than I gave it credit for. Eight days later, with eight positive tests I’m still in bed 😂. I feel sorry for those people living alone or where the entire family is down with it. The Princess sent me to the top floor where I have been ever since. I have to admit the room service has been impeccable.

We had a lovely weekend before that staying with friends close to Dartford. For once the weather was splendid and after Parkrun on Saturday morning we went for a walk. Well, yes, there had to be a run. The river Thames has seen many sights. I’m talking about Vikings and Romans here. Not the sights you see on Saturday nights, these days. Anyway, it was a pleasurable stroll. I asked about the bridge and was told it was the Queen Elizbeth bridge. It conjured up images of our Beth in overalls and hard hat directing operations. But I guess she was too busy at the time.

We passed a cruise ship on our way. I have always thought cruises are for people who don’t like holidays… I know it’s a strange theory. If you think the things I write are strange can you imagine what strange thoughts I have that don’t reach the keyboard? Eventually we reached a hostelry and as the name suggests I believed this to be the end of the trail. Apparently not but it was a good excuse to partake in some liquid refreshment. I was told the trail is forty miles so, I did wonder how the inn received it’s name. We weren’t about to traverse forty miles so, refreshed and fortified with beer and crisps we retraced our steps.

As we trundled along we came across a fort. We were going to pop in but didn’t have time but I guess with the situation in Europe they’re probably re-arming it anyway.

It was a quiet walk, unlike the northern seaside towns. Where children are screaming as the seagulls steal their chips or ice-cream and parents are waving their arms while hurling abuse at the feathered fiends. And of course so different to the one we did in Filey the week before. The one on the left is Filey in case you were confused. Have a lovely weekend my friends xxx

Posted in Blog, Blogging, Coronavirus, East Yorkshire, Humour, Life, Lifestyle, Opinion | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 52 Comments

It’s Been a While

Why was this moved to Drafts? I wonder 🤷🏻

I’m not going to digress. It’s been a while since I found it hard to climb the stairs. But yesterday was Bloodaxe. The last time Bloodaxe happened was 2019 and you know why. So, Bloodaxe is held at the York Sports Village You have two hours to run round and round a 1k bike circuit. My stair problem is that I ran 24.5k in 2019 and wanted to better it. As I’m writing this I don’t feel too well 😂.

There are two things to take from this Strava post. A. It’s not my longest run and, B. you can’t see the rain. Jeez it poured down for the whole two hours, Actually rained all day. My longest run was 40 miles last year at Endure. But I recorded it in segments so, Strava doesn’t recognise that.

Moving onto nipples. Mine don’t like the rain and so, they get sore. My God! Have you ever had nipple rub? Don’t answer that ladies. It’s as though someone has hit you in the pecs with a hammer and then sandpapered them. I bless Germaline every time it happens. That’s about all folks. It’s Monday tomorrow. So I hope you have a fantastic week, I’ll be routing for you. Take care and remember everything works out in the end. If it hasn’t worked out yet? You’re not at the end xx.

Posted in Life | 16 Comments

February Traditions

This is a wonderful gesture from Ana. I hope you take her up on it x

Ana Linden

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In the early days of this blog, I started a Valentine’s Day tradition. As my little gift to you (it isn’t much, but that’s the best I can do to show my appreciation during what many consider to a holiday of love), you can download my books, Parallel Livesand Frames for free on Smashwords.com, Barnes&Noble, Kobo and iBooks. Albatross and Glass Slippers and Stilettos are available for free on Amazon on February 13 and 14.

Given that neither one of them is a typical “they lived happily ever after” romance and they portray rather unconventional, uncomfortable twists and turns of relationships, they might also be a good choice for those of you not really in the mood for celebrating this year. Whether you get them for yourself or as a gift for somebody else, I hope you enjoy my small token of appreciation. Feel free to download as many…

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We Just Don’t Talk Like This Anymore Part 2

And the answers are… Fab follow up to the previous. Check them out, you won’t be disappointed x

WheatyPete's World

We Just Don’t Talk Like This Anymore

I had just dropped a clanger – again. I called the thing in the corner of the kitchen the “washing-up machine” (I always do) and now the others are dissing me because I am such a linguistic dinosaur. I thought everything was tickety-boo on this front, having recently mastered the use of the word “fam” to address my family. This, it seems, was just a flash in the pan.

It is as cold as a witch’s tit outside, so I just wanted a lazy day and to stay warm inside – the only fly in the ointment being that the curtain-twitcher over the road was watching me intently through the window, so I was of a mind to pull down the blind and do an aimless bit of web surfing. I found an article online originating from the Daily Mirror in which they…

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We Just Don’t Talk Like This Anymore

Love this post from Pete. I just had to Reblog it. 😊 It’s worth going to take a look 🙂

WheatyPete's World

I had just dropped a clanger – again.  I called the thing in the corner of the kitchen the “washing-up machine” (I always do) and now the others are dissing me because I am such a linguistic dinosaur.  I thought everything was tickety-boo on this front, having recently mastered the use of the word “fam” to address my family.  This, it seems, was just a flash in the pan.

It is as cold as a witch’s tit outside, so I just wanted a lazy day and to stay warm inside – the only fly in the ointment being that the curtain-twitcher over the road was watching me intently through the window, so I was of a mind to pull down the blind and do an aimless bit of web surfing. I found an article online originating from the Daily Mirror in which they discovered that 78% of 18 to 50-year-olds…

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Posted in Life | 3 Comments

Why, I Mean, Really Why?

Okay, I’ve not been as prolific as I was, there again I guess I was never actually, prolific. OMG I’ve managed to deviate before I’ve even started. Oh, well…The WHY? question… I keep reading your posts and WP has this little blue sign that says FOLLOW. Now the fact you are popping up on my feed/email/notifications means that I am actually following you, doesn’t it? So why does WP unfollow you on my behalf.

I’ve been a little boring lately. I’m still swimming. God I hate swimming. I forget which member of our little group had the idea to do a Triathlon but I’m beginning to to think it was a bad idea. I keep saying I’m a runner but no one listens😂

I’ve been editing and writing a lot. Work still gets in the way… does anyone else find that? It’s only 20 hours a week (they pay me well) but it’s still annoying. I find, these days, all my writing is between 6pm and 11pm. Then I get up at 5:45 to either swim (did I mention that I hate swimming? 😂) or cycle.

Oh! I had run a 10 mile race last Sunday. I was disappointed with 1hr 16mins as it only got me 11th out 38 in my age range. Grrr these fast old men😂

Film recommendation coming up: Tadaaa (does that come first or after? 🤔) The film is ‘Belfast’. You’ve read my reviews before so I will spare you the agony of another. It was very good and I think even with the absence of minority groups and any one of the 90, new genders it may win an Oscar. We’ll see, they have to careful not upset anyone.

My next race is a week on Sunday and it’s called Bloodaxe. This something to do with a Viking because it’s in York. Apart from that I have no idea except we run around a track for two hours to see how many miles you can cover. I can’t think of a better way to spend a Sunday afternoon, can you? Take care my little writing friends, summer is coming.

Posted in Athletics, Blog, Blogging, Humour, Life, Opinion, Running | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 37 Comments

A Strange Mood Has Come Over Me

Don’t worry, I haven’t joined a cult and it’s not the weather for laying in an orchard, cloud gazing, sadly. It’s called romance. As my dear fellow blogger, Quercus, said, ‘If you want to write you have to read.’ So, my research has led me to reading romantic novels. Apparently they are for girls? I’ve discovered they make you happy. Men apparently opt for non-fiction, history, politics and business. Which explains quite a lot.

If you’ve read any previous reviews I have written, you’ll be happy to know I’m not going to review the books. But I will say if you have the tenacity, read Someday in Paris by Olivia Lara. If nothing else, it is a wonderful tale. I also read Glass Slippers and Stilettos by Ana Linden which I thoroughly enjoyed.

So, what else is responsible for my strange mood? Well, I have taken to running twice a day on occasion and this seems to work. Tuesday I ran 10 miles in the morning and in the evening ran the City of Hull AC Winter League. A three mile handicap race and had the best time this season. Swimming twice a week, in preparation for our little group Triathlon, has taught me that I need to run faster. 😂 Of course there is always Cross Country too, that’s me at the back. So, all in all, I’m pretty mellow at the moment.

I’d like to thank everyone for their likes, kind words and shares of my book. I do appreciate it… see, I’ve gone soft. 😂. I hope you’re 2022 has gone well and to plan so far and keep writing my friends xx

Posted in Blogging, Books, Humour, Life, Opinion, Running | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 41 Comments

Christmas is Up and Running

The thing I like most about Christmas is that I don’t have to go to work. Not that I work very hard anyway. Well I do, but I find it easy so, it’s not really hard. Yup, it’s going to be one of those rambling posts. The main thing is, I can run more and my club, City of Hull AC, have runs nearly everyday. Not Christmas day, but we’re doing Parkrun anyway. I guess they’ll expect us to dress up on Christmas Day but at least the telephone box won’t be running. 😂

While I am on the subject of parkrun we had our Christmas party on Saturday. I really enjoyed most of it. I say most, because I don’t have much recollection of the end. I was good until around 12:30, after that everything is a bit of a blur. It started out okay, but I’m afraid by around 3am it had got a teensy weensy bit messy. Oh well it’s only once a year… more or less.😉

So, tonight is a Christmas Lights run, that’s basically a 7 mile run through town looking at Christmas lights, well some people like it 🤷🏻Tomorrow morning is the 7 Hills run, about 8 miles up and down seven hills. If you remember? It’s commonly known as the sperm run, for obvious reasons. Then Thursday I am taking the Princess on the same route. A. She hasn’t run off road before and B. She doesn’t like hills much. So, it will be an interesting morning.

Well, if I don’t post again before Christmas, I hope you all have a wonderful time, whatever you are doing and at least we’ll be able to see some people this year… I hope. 😘

Posted in Athletics, Blogging, Freedom, Humour, Life, Lifestyle, Running | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 59 Comments

It’s Here

So, twenty years in the making, I think I beat The Godfather 2 😂 But I finally published my book. The Siege of Mr Khan’s Curry Shop. And now it’s in paperback. The idea came to me twenty years ago. A young man growing up alone in a beat up inner city. Finding his own way. But it evolved, as things do. After numerous re-starts and rewrites I thought I had it.

That was before I sent it to an editor and the real work began. I have to mention Esther Chilton at this point. Esther you’re a marvel, thank you for you’re patience, your hard work and expertise. You helped me write the book I needed to write. 🙏

If anyone reading this has done the same then you’ll know what I mean when I say, “It ain’t over, yet.” Apparently you have to market it?? What? Nooo… I thought the idea was I wrote it and people bought it.🤔But it seems that it doesn’t work that way. And the people at work ask me what I do all day? “You can’t write all day, can you?” Well actually I could.

But let’s presume I am preaching to the converted for a moment. Isn’t the worse part when people say, “What’s it about?” Or is it that just me? I read something today that says I write from a character base and not plot base. The difference is (in Charlie’s layman terms) I don’t have a clue what I’m writing about and let the characters lead me. Whereas plot based writers plan the whole thing out so, they know what they’re writing about. So I struggle explaining it or maybe I’m just dumb 😂

Anyway here’s a clue:

Bradford in 1974. Billy Lynch wants a better life. He also wants the truth.

Why did his father leave fourteen years ago? Where did he go?

Why is the local drug dealer supporting a National Front march?

Does the stunning Auntie Riya really have the answers, can Billy trust her?

Billy’s love for Mr Khan’s daughter, Alina is discovered by the local skinhead leader, Lard. This sparks a chain of disastrous events and Billy is drawn back into a past he was trying to escape. The consequences of one kiss, mean nothing will ever be the same again.

And here it is 😘

https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=the+siege+of+Mr+khans+curry+shop&i=stripbooks&crid=3HAYD346K55TX&sprefix=the+siege+of+mr+khans+curry+shop%2Cstripbooks%2C93&ref=nb_sb_noss

Now I’m supposed to switch into ‘marketing mode’ and beg you to share it. But I feel that if people want to share it they will. I already know you love me. Take care you lovely people xx

  

Posted in Authors, Blogging, Books, Bradford, Life, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 74 Comments